In a day where many have been abused by leaders in and out of the church, many have become afraid of commitment. To some people, the word commit registers in their brain as a “four letter word.” Something to stay away from. We are learning at Hungry 4 God Church that love creates the very environment necessary for trust to be formed. That trust is a response to unconditional love & acceptance. You must give love to get trust and not the other way around. When trust is created, the next level of a relationship that hurt people become afraid of is COMMITMENT. People are coming into relationships today like an immature man wants to relate to a woman…looking to receive the benefits of a committed relationship without making any commitments. As a pastor, I see many come to churches looking to see what they are going to get out of it, which is fine at first. You should benefit from a ministry and see if this is a place your family belongs to be apart of. But if after sometime you don’t want any involvement and become a part of what’s benefiting you…if all you are doing is receiving and leaving then you are nothing more than a spiritual hooker. You want love without relationship!
Commitment is reciprocal. One person cannot commit without the active commitment of the other.
The Law Of Reciprocity Jesus taught about relationships all the time for our perfection and our protection. Many of us experience unnecessary hurts in our lives because we pursue relationships without using the God-given principles needed to build world-class connections with everyone we meet. In Luke 6:38, Jesus taught the important law of reciprocity.
“Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again..”
This verse is usually taken out of context, quoted during the tithes and offering moment in most churches. While it in fact can relate to financial giving, Jesus was more-so speaking about what we give to other people relationally. If we give respect, we’ll get respect. If we give mercy, we’ll receive mercy. If we give grace, we’ll receive grace. If we give commitment…it shall be given to us. We cannot expect to receive from people what we are unwilling or unable to give. Even if others try to give us what we haven’t given, we are emotionally incapable of receiving it. We can only receive what we have given. We were created to be relationship-oriented beings who live according to reciprocation. It’s important to understand the need to make and maintain commitments. The emotionally undeveloped can’t do that. Commitments are a vital and healthy part of life. Without commitment, no marriages could last. There could be no jobs, no friends. Children would grow up without parents. The world, as we know it, cannot exist without people who are committed to certain things. There could be nothing of value in this life without commitment! How to commit
- Properly evaluate people. Before making decisions to enter into any committed relationship…A business partner. A new church. A romantic partner take time to learn them. Immature people tend to commit to things without really knowing the cost. Jesus said to always count the cost. You cannot count the cost if you do not know the cost.
- Quality commitments are permission-based and mutually exchanged. Commitments should never go beyond the bounds of personal choice. A leader or anyone that forces you into commitment is nothing more than a dictator.
- Make commitments in increments. Commitment can be perverted by a leader or a follower. In many cases, people who are emotionally unstable overcommit to people in hopes of generating commitment from them that way. This is a well-cooked recipe for disaster. The follower who forces commitment is nothing more than a manipulator. Remember that you must give and receive based on what you give. Always make sure you don’t out-commit another person. Misinterpreted commitments always lead to disappointments.
Misinterpreted commitments always lead to disappointments.