I asked my church recently during our “No Perfect People Allowed” teaching series, who do you trust more…family or friends? This simple question created some inner tension. The sad reality was that many of us really trust our friends over family. One of our members said to our family “I don’t trust family or friends, I trust loyalty.” Basically to him, it didn’t matter if you’re related by blood or a childhood friend. Why is this the case? Take a look at this proverbial wisdom to find out.
“A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for a time of adversity.”
There’s a quote by Edna Buchanan that says, “Friends are the family that we choose for ourselves.” You see, family is not always born at birth. They are the ones that are birthed into our lives at the intersection of struggle and success!
Adversity is the birthing place of family.
Friends that are loyal in the hard times win a place in our lives that even our family may fail to access.
A friend is there to love you no matter what. But family is born…for the struggles and fights of your life.
Family becomes friends we can trust when they love us at all times and friends become family when they fight with us and for us in adversity.
A church for example is an amazing place because when you connect, you’re entering into a relationship with a people looking to love, be loved and overcome adversity all at the same time. This is the perfect place for imperfect people. A church is to be a family of friends! A people who love at all times and a people who are born again through common faith and common adversity. When Church happens this way, Church will meet the greatest needs that every human possesses…the need to BELONG! Other than that, a church as Christ envisioned it will lose the purpose of its existence in the Earth.
On the other hand, a church can be a place of great pain and devastation. To have this expectation end in disappointment can certainly create bitterness and foster unhealthy emotions towards people, God and even yourself. Choosing your friends WISELY is one of the most important skillsets to develop in life! Relationships are not the reason why you can’t seem to find genuine friends or family. It’s pursuing friends or family without the principles of God at the forefront of decision making that leads to pain in our lives.
Do you have a safe place you go to and “belong”?
If so, why does it feel like a safe place to belong to?
If you attend a church, is a church a place you see as family, friends or both?
Are you trusting people enough to form friends or family authentically? What an I do differently?